


Duplicity

by IsharaYar



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Deception, Developing Friendships, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Lies, Long, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:51:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4767365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsharaYar/pseuds/IsharaYar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe she can blame the haze, confusion and sadness after the destruction of the conclave. However, she knows better. </p><p>It is just one more lie, this time in an attempt to be something, someone better. An attempt to escape a life she no longer wants to live.</p><p> </p><p>Kink Meme Prompt inspired fiction: Royal Inquisitor poses as a commoner.<br/>With a slight change - Noble Evelyn Trevelyan posing as a commoner.<br/>Thanks for the prompt Anon! This should be fun :)</p><p>(Canon Divergence - Not a retelling of Inquisition but there will be spoilers for the game and the DLC's)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to Ilyahna and winebearcat for allowing me to borrow the layout you guys use for prologues!  
> This is my first time including one in a story. I hope it's not too horribly done.  
> This is also my first prompt fill so I am a little nervous. I hope you enjoy!

Prologue

* * *

  
She is six when she first meets the person who will become her best friend. It is her second night in the Ostwick circle. The second night in her life she has ever been away from her family home at the Trevelyan Estate. Normally by now her father would be tucking her into her bed all snug and reading her favourite bedtime stories. He had a voice that could sooth away even the most frightening thoughts of monsters hiding under her bed. Tonight there is no bedtime story and no soothing voice, there is only shadows on the walls that move as if they are alive. They are reaching for her in the unfamiliar room, like dark tendrils threatening to wrap around her small form and swallow her whole. Her emerald eyes are far too wide with fear and wakefulness for sleep to come and offer her relief.

She pulls the blanket up to her chin, not entirely game enough to cover her head with it. She wants to see how close the shadows have moved, just in case one of them is going to strike. Her little heart is racing in her chest. She wishes she is tucked up safe and sound at home, where her father's warm embrace would be little more than a word away. She could call for him now, but he would not hear her, nor would he come to her bedside and comfort her. A sob escapes her lips as tears start rolling down her cheeks. Her parents both promised they would see her soon but she didn't know when that would be. She hates being a Mage forced to live in this strange place with no one she knows.

She doesn't want the others to hear her crying, they would only tease her for it later. She holds back the sobs that follow after the first, it wasn't easy and it made her chest hurt. As the tears make her nose run, she can't hold back the sniffles that follow.

Another girl who looks a little older sits down on the side of her bed and whispers quietly, "Are you okay?"

"I want to go home," Evelyn whispers back as she sniffles.

"It's scary at first but you will be okay, I'll look after you. If you want me to," the girl whispers into the silent room. It is the only comfort Evelyn has had since she arrived and it is most gratefully welcomed.

"Would you? Really?" For a moment she forgot to whisper. Her eyes are wide but this time not with fear. It is relief and acceptance in the face of a world that was turned upside down.

"Would you be quiet, some of us are _trying_ to sleep," a voice growls from a bunk across the room.

"Shhhh," her new friend whispered. "She can be mean, you don't want to anger her. Just stay with me and you will be fine. What's your name?"

She remembers to whisper this time when she answers, "Evelyn. What's your name?"

"Ellie, it's short for Eleanor. I prefer Ellie."

~~~~~~~~

She is fifteen when she kisses her first Templar. He is cute and she loves making him squirm with her relentless flirting. He blushes when her lips brush against his which makes her smile, she knows she is a thing of beauty even at such a young age. She knows men's eyes follow her across the room when she attends her mother's dinner parties. She knows there is already a long list of marriage proposals for when she comes of age. It all makes her laugh inside because, she knows she loves her Templar and she will always be forever bound to the four walls of the circle.

They are hiding in a storeroom that is unused at night because she pulled him in there. Now his hand is entangled in her long hair. The red locks bunching up under his fingers. He is pulling her head back and deepening the kiss, his tongue parting her lips. His response is exactly what she wants, maker how long she had waited to be with him like this. His lips are as warm against her own as she imagined they would be. The heat bubbling inside scares her but also excites her, she can't imagine ever feeling like this for anyone else.

His cheeks are flushed when he breaks the kiss, looking into her eyes, "I have to go."

She can hear the regret in his voice but she understands how the circle works, if he is late to the dining hall they will question. "I know," she says as she kisses his cheek once more before disentangling from him. Her heart is still racing and she can't stop the smile that tugs the corner of her lips upwards. "We should do this again, soon."

His fingers brush her cheek, his voice is husky with emotion. "We will, I promise."

She remains for a time after he leaves the storeroom, just in case the hall isn't empty. When she is finally back in her room Ellie is waiting, in fact she looks like she is just about to burst from excitement. What could possibly have her friend looking so _happy_?

"Okay, what did I miss?" Evelyn asks her warily.

"The First Enchanter was just here, you have an invitation from your parents to a ball! Can you just imagine all of those pretty dresses, the dancing, the food? Oh Evie please take me with you!" Surely Ellie is joking, she is completely clueless when it comes to noble etiquette. Even her walk is all wrong for a real lady. Evelyn could imagine just how embarrassing it would be, to be seen with someone so completely awkward at one of her mother’s functions. Of course Ellie knows this and of course she isn't serious.

Evelyn laughs because her friend is joking and because her head is spinning, giddy with her own excitement. She just got invited to her first ball, there had been numerous dinner parties but balls, they were something else entirely. "Oh Ellie you are too much, of course you know I couldn't possibly take you to a ball! Oh but I can't wait! This means mother is finally going to let me start playing the game."

She stops as she looks at Ellie, her heart sinking into her stomach. There on her best friend's cheek is a tear, her eyes are downcast and she looks positively devastated.

"Oh Ellie, I am sorry. I didn't know you were serious," she stammers in an attempt to amend her naive mistake. It is too late because she has already hurt her friend and she can't take the offending words back.

"Don't worry about it," Ellie responds dejected. "You should be packing, your escort is arriving in the morning."

When Ellie shuffles away it is the first time Evelyn ever feels guilty for being who she is. Noble by blood and an intended heir for the Trevelyan's small but modest empire, able to experience luxuries that some would only ever be able to dream of. It never occurred to her before because that is just how things are.

~~~~~~~~

She is seventeen when she turns down one of the abandoned corridors looking for her Templar. It is not uncommon to find couples stealing moments in these very halls. There is simply never enough patrols at night to cover the entire building, or even half of it.

Up ahead she sees his familiar brown hair. Her eyes follow the contours of his muscular physique under the tight shirt he is wearing. She licks her lips in anticipation, they had spent their first night making love and she is looking forward to their second. Now she is closer she can see he is leaning in towards the hard stone wall. Two arms appear as they snake underneath his, feminine hands are clawing at his back. His hand is hidden by the other mages pants, he is - _fuck!_ Evelyn is frozen on the spot, wanting to rip her eyes away from them but unable to look away. Tears burn the back of her eyelids but she refuses to let them fall. No, he won't see how badly she is hurting. He won’t know the twists in her stomach, the stabbing in her heart, the _pain_. She forces a smile to her lips as she walks past them. Making it appear as if she is on her way through.

She speaks out loud behind them with a confidence in her voice that her shattering heart does not feel, "I hope his tiny dick does a better job for you then it did for me last night." She keeps walking, she doesn't look back even when she feels their eyes on her.

It is when she is on her own that she let's the tears slide down her cheeks, with her back up against the hard rock wall in an empty corridor. Her heart aches for what she thought she had with her Templar, she wants to hate him for it but the hatred just won’t surface. Later, curled up in her bed she cries silent tears once more and then she doesn't cry again.

In the weeks and months following she applies herself to her studies, finding an affinity for spirit magic that at times even scares her instructors. The closer mages are to spirits, the closer they are to demons and her connection to the spirits is strong. They fear for her but she isn't worried, the magic she uses fits her like a second skin. Evelyn also finds a small area within the elements that feels almost as natural to her as the spirit magic. The electrical charges that extend from her fingers easily when she conjures them.

In between it all is also her trips back home. She is becoming quite adept at the game, hiding, listening and learning all she can from those who might oppose the Trevelyan name. She finds using her feminine charms has the best effect when she wants someone to bend to her will, there is no point in saving that now for a templar who never loved her.

~~~~~~~~

At twenty she is one of the best players of the game in her family and, she finds herself spending more time away from the circle then she spends there. In a matter of months she has managed to almost double her parents land holdings. Evelyn plays hard and she plays to win. Her body is her weapon and at times, when it is required, her magic is her tool. She is in a small Tavern in Ostwick meeting with her latest conquest. Cameran Odain is a young, aspiring noble from a small house that holds land near the Trevelyan borders. It is rich, fertile land that would turn a decent profit, which is exactly why her father has his sights set on acquiring it.  
  
In the weeks she spent time getting to know Cameran she met his family, his young wife and their four year old daughter. Evelyn likes his daughter, she is a cute little child with long blonde curls and bright blue eyes. She likes his wife as well, she is kind and considerate with a fun sense of humour. She ignores the small pangs of guilt that creep their way into her mind, she knows she is very likely to be ripping a family apart. However, Cameran is a Templar. Remembering that allows her to push the guilt away, Templars are disloyal bastards who deserve everything that they get and probably more. His family will move on but he is going down and her father will get the land he wants.  
  
She gives him the most sincere of smiles as he sits down at the table, her mask is well practiced and almost flawless. He seems to enjoy her company well enough. They spend long hours talking but, he is resistent so far to her attempts at luring him to her bed. Tonight she brought along a little extra to help in that endeavour, when he is looking away she tips the contents of a small vial into his drink.

It isn't long before he is laughing at all her jokes and leaning in closer. The herb mixture, with a little magic and lyrium, is designed to increase his arousal and lower his inhibitions.

She dips her head in a manner of feigned shyness as she peers at him through her long dark eyelashes, "Cameran.. I probably shouldn't say anything, I know you are married but with all this time we have spent together. I feel as if I have known you forever and, I find myself liking you, maybe more than I should." She doesn't blush because no matter how good she is at pretending that is too difficult to fake but, she does turn her eyes away from him as if embarrassed by her confession. "I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

His fingers are under her chin, tilting her head back up to meet his eyes, "You don't need to be sorry." His voice is husky and his face is closer, much closer than it had been. She can feel a small amount of warmth caress her lips as he breaths outwards. "You are an amazing women, any man would be lucky to have you. I almost wish someone else had already snapped you up. They should have and then you wouldn't be here tempting me now."

The words he says mean nothing to her, they are based only on the lies she is feeding him, the pretense that she is actually a nice person. Not the truth. His lips are warm and taste of red wine as they meet hers and she knows. She knows eyes are upon them within the Tavern. Eyes of those who know them both. He has forgotten in the moment that they are in public, it is exactly what she needs him to do. She meets his kisses with her own, curling her fingers through his dark brown hair. She moves her head back momentarily to look into his eyes as she whispers, "We should probably go upstairs, the room has eyes."

"Oh, right. That is probably for the best." He stammers and seems to be distracted.

She gives him a sweet, seductive smile as she stands and offers him her hand. He hesitates at first but places his palm against hers and follows her up the stairs to the Taverns rooms above. If he is wondering by now why she even had a room already booked, he didn't ask. She didn't volunteer the information, it was just one less lie needing to be recited.

She closes the door quietly behind them, knowing she has won this game already. What happens now doesn't matter because no one else can see what takes place behind the closed door. They will only know the truth of what their eyes have shown them and what she will feed into the story later. She will still attempt to bed him because it will be more real if it actually happens but, she already has him exactly where she needs him.

She takes a deep breath with her hands still on the door. It is for effect, so that he will believe she is struggling. She turns slowly to face him, "I.. should we even be here?"

He sighs but also closes the gap between them, "No, but I want to. I love my wife but... maker, how I want you."

Evelyn caresses his cheek with her thumb, her tongue snaking out to lick her lips. "I want you too," she whispers and then the gap between them is no longer.

They are lost in frantic kisses, bodies pressing together and wandering hands. She feels his arousal pressing against her and has no way of knowing if it is the effect of the herbs or herself, or both. Other than kisses he has yet to make a move towards anything more, so she does. As she starts undoing buttons, working on releasing them of clothing he stops kissing and pulls back.

"I am so sorry Evelyn, I can't do this." His cheeks are flushed as he does the buttons back up. There is regret in his eyes and his apology is sincere. If she is honest with herself, she feels a small sense of relief when he stops.

"I understand," she says with feigned sadness and a quiet voice. "Your wife is one lucky lady. There is a wash room just through the door, you might want to cool yourself down before you go home."

He takes her up on the offer and is in the washroom for a long time before he emerges, he apologises once more before leaving. Once he is gone, Evelyn puts the rest of her plan into play. She pulls back the covers in the bed and positions herself on her hands and knees. The act messes up the sheets so they appear to have been used, especially when she bounces. With her hands in place she carefully conjures her electricity magic, just a small spell, enough to burn scorch marks into the sheets. With information planted in the right places, he will be discovered as having engaged in activities with another woman and it will be revealed that it was a Mage the Templar was with.

On her way out, she gives a slight nod to one of her spies. The spy knows it's time to start spreading her tangled web of lies.

She finds out some weeks later that her game worked. Her father secured the land the moment it was up for sale. Cameran has been removed from the Templar order and all his ties with the Chantry have been severed. It is another couple of weeks after that when she hears of his demise, that he has taken his own life for failing his family. At least that is what the rumours say, Evelyn knows different. She destroyed his life, and his family. This is when she first feels the impact of the games she plays but, it isn't until she is walking down one of the alley's in Ostwick, that she fully realises the extent of what she did. Of just how the game impacts the lives of those drawn into it. Lives that she plays with without hesitation and for what reason? A bit of land? More coin? None of which the Trevelyans actually need for reasons other than more power, it is always about more power. They want for nothing, they have food, a house, land, jobs and a good name they don’t need more.

It is a dark alley at the back of the town, one most nobles would never tread in. She is following a mark for the purpose of gathering information, it is always about land because land is power and coin. This particular Marquis is believed to be consorting with a commoner, she only needs to prove it so that he will be discredited. It is a young girl sitting by a crumpled form of an adult that draws her attention. The adult, most likely the girls mother is drunk and delirious. It is the girls eyes that she notices first, sad and withdrawn but such a pretty blue that it's hard not to look a little closer. The girls light hair is matted and filthy, caked with maker only knew what. Her face is smeared with dirt and her dress in tatters, little more than rags now. Evelyn knows those eyes, they were once bright and full of life. She wants to look away, to not see the sadness in those eyes now, to not be completely aware of the fact that she alone was responsible for destroying the little girl's life. It cuts right through her in a moment of complete self loathing. This is what she did to people who didn't deserve it, innocent people.

~~~~~~~~

She is twenty-one when she attends the meeting at the conclave with Ellie by her side. It isn't a meeting of nobles but a meeting of mages and all of those who are interested in the future of the circles. She couldn't pass up the opportunity to get her friend out from those walls, if only for a short time. Of course with her family's ties to the Chantry and the templars, they wanted Evelyn there to be the Trevelyans eyes and ears. All they are really concerned about is looking after the Trevelyan interests, she will do it because they are her family and because they asked her to. Each lie, each life destroyed in the interest of the Trevelyan family is slowly eating away at her but, she hides that too. It is no longer a simple matter of playing the game, not when she knows the truth of innocents that got caught up in the crossfire.

She is good at what she does, looking for what is hidden under the surface. It doesn't take her long to realise something is wrong at the conclave. Divine Justina is acting strangely, like she is trying to keep everything in order and everyone calm but, something else is going on under that surface. Evelyn follows her but at a distance. She is determined to find out why the Divine is putting up an appearance of everything being fine whilst she is so agitated herself. That is when Evelyn sees the Divine arguing with some strange people and something that doesn't entirely look human. She sees the strange green orb that appears to be charging up with some kind of magic. Whatever that thing is it can't be good. She approaches them and she speaks to get their attention, mostly to catch the thing that doesn't appear human off-guard and it works. When he turns to face her, the green glowing orb is in her reach. Given that the Divine wanted it, the orb _had_ to be important, or dangerous, so she reaches out to grab for it while she has the chance.

She wakes with her mind in a haze with fog that won't clear, to find a strange woman with a horrendous scowl standing over her. The moment her eyes open the questions start coming, one after the other.

She can't think. She can't remember. Why can't she remember? Why the fuck does her hand hurt so bad? Is it... glowing?

Then the woman's words reach her ears. Everyone is dead. Ellie is dead. The conclave went to hell. Her best friend, the closest person she ever had to an older sister and she is dead. The only thing she can think is that at least Ellie got to experience time out of those four walls. The woman, Cassandra the other one calls her, is demanding her name. Her mind is buzzing, but her thoughts clear just enough. If everyone is dead, Evelyn could be dead, no more games, no more destroying lives. No fucking marriage that she doesn't want and didn't ask for. The thoughts come with such a rush that she doesn't even think it through before she answers, "Eleanor Alishan. I prefer to be called Elie."


	2. Tiny Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing comments so far :)  
> Also much thanks for the Kudos!  
> It is always great to know that others are enjoying what I write as I am normally very nervous about my writing. So thank you!

She is restless in the cabin that is assigned to her. Even after washing up, twice, the scent of demon blood still lingers, taunting her nostrils. It is possible that it is only in her mind now but, she swears she can still _smell_ the foul stench of death. Evelyn throws off the covers and slips her legs over the side of the bed as she sits upright. The mattress is old, lumpy and uncomfortable, especially after all the recent time she has spent at the estate with her oversized comfortable bed. She resigns herself to the fact that sleep just isn't going to come anytime soon.

As she steps outside, the cold Haven air hits her warm face like icy needles. Ostwick is warmer and humid, not snow covered and freezing. No matter how she adjusts the drab brown robes she is wearing, it doesn't seem to help keep out the cold. _A walk, that wasn't my best plan._ She shivers again but her feet are moving regardless of the cold.

The moon above, although not full, casts ample light to see as she makes her way through the Haven gates and down towards the frozen lake. She absently kicks at the soft snow cover on the ground. It scatters in a spray of snow out on to the lakes icy surface. Normally when she plays the game, she has a plan all worked out so that the lies she tells make sense. So she doesn't stumble over them and make mistakes that give her away. Now she was part of the biggest lie of her life and she had no plan at all, other than to see that she does not taint Ellie's name.

Evelyn holds her hand out in front of her. During the night she can see a faint green glow under the fabric of her glove. Even if she wants to plan ahead now, how can she? She has no idea of what the future holds. In just one day she went from being accused of mass murdering everyone at the conclave. To being called the Herald of Andraste, a religious figure, an icon. She knows she is neither of those things.  
  
She also knows that she misses her friend, and some of the others from the ostwick circle lost in the conclave destruction. One tear slides down her cheek, followed by more. She is quick to wipe the tears born of grief, away from her face the moment she hears footsteps approaching. She doesn't allow herself to show weakness to anyone, ever.

"I didn't think anyone else would still be awake at this hour," a calm voice says as he comes to a stop beside her.

"I didn't think that I would still be awake at this hour either. It seems I am still trying to absorb everything," she responds quietly. "It's Commander Cullen isn't it? I am afraid I have had so many different names thrown at me today that I am not certain I have them in order." As she shifts to face him rather than the lake, self-conscious she closes the fingers of her marked hand so that the green glow can't be seen. She spent so much time amongst the noble families in the free marches pretending _not_ to be a mage, that the mark on her hand feels like a constant sign saying 'mage right here'. At least it seems to be fading since she has been in Haven, with any luck it will keep fading and only show when she uses it.

"It seems your memory serves you well. I imagine it hasn't been an easy day for you, how is your hand?" His eyes glance downwards to where her hand is clenched. His brow furrows as he raises them again to meet hers. It must be her imagination, as if a templar would really have any concern over a mage.

"It's fine," she lies. Her hand ached from the strange magic, but that was her burden and she didn't feel like sharing. "Are things between the mages and templars really as bad as they say?"

"That does appear to be the case. We should know more by the meeting tomorrow, once Leliana's scouts in the Hinterlands report in." He presses his lips together into a thin line, the burdens of command and perhaps more mar his face.

"I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. Word of what happened in Kirkwall must have spread fairly quickly throughout the circles and there was always tension. Lock up enough people and eventually they are going to retaliate." She knows bitterness is creeping into her voice but it's not like it isn't the truth. The circles as far as she is concerned, are little more than prisons so people don't have to deal with fears. Forget that it is actual people they are dealing. Real people, with hopes and dreams and wants for a future that the circles do not provide. Is she no better than those who say it is okay to lock up mages? She had given little thought to the people whose lives she toyed with whilst playing the game in the beginning. Did those people have hopes and dreams that she had destroyed? Without knowing it she looks away from Cullen. Sadness creeps across her features, as she looks out over a frozen lake that she isn't really seeing.

"A lot of harm has been caused from both sides. With more still to come I fear. There are mages who can be dangerous. There are also templars who have shown they can be equally so. It isn't all as black and white as it may have appeared to be," he admits as he too is looking out over the lake without seeing it. Lost in thoughts that she couldn't even begin to guess at.

"I am surprised to hear a templar say that," she confesses.

"Ex-templar," Cullen corrects her firmly.

"Why did you leave?" Her eyes tick back to his face with renewed curiosity.

"After Kirkwall and Meredith, I no longer wanted to be part of that life. Cassandra offered me something better, something that at least has a chance of helping people. I took it," he answers.

"So there are templars here obviously, yourself being one of them - Sorry, ex-templars. Is there mages as well?" She asks, wondering just what this group is that she has now gotten herself mixed up in.

"A few, not many but that may change. I believe you have already met Solas." He answers.

"The apostate, right. You can't be too happy about that." No templar would be she assumes, although part of her can't help but wonder if she is trying to bait him on purpose.

"I will admit, mages running around unchecked is not how I would like things to be." That right there gave her the insight she didn't even know she was looking for. So, although he was no longer a templar he still believed, in some form, that mages needed babysitting.

 _Right, because keeping us all locked up is better._ She thinks it, but she doesn't say it. She didn't come out for a walk, to find herself in an unwinnable argument. To even find herself in an argument at all really. Just as she is trying to think of something else to say that, might smooth the conversation over she hears a high pitched sound. It had the resemblance of an animal but not one she has heard before. "What was that?"

"Probably just an animal, there is plenty of local wildlife around these parts." He responded. His eyes scanned the area, more as if he is looking for any signs of danger to them, then for any other reason.

"It sounded like it was in pain. We should see if we can help it," she didn't even wait for a response before she was trudging off towards the trees, in the direction the sound came from.

"Herald, you probably shouldn't go running around at night in your own," Cullen calls after her.

"Then come with me!" She calls back, without even slowing down at all.

She is looking down the side of a steeper hill that is covered with softer snow when he catches up to her. "See? It's just down there." She points in the direction of a small greyish brown patch below.

"Is that... a nug?" He asks with a bewildered tone. She was also surprised that something so small could have let out such a loud sound.

"I think so. A bird must have carried it, I don't think they normally venture this far up the mountains. Here, hold my hand, I think I can reach it with help." She says as she holds her hand out to him.

"You're going to risk your neck climbing down there for a nug?" She can't tell if it is amusement in his voice or something else.

As she meets his eyes she holds his gaze for a moment with a stubborn tilt to her chin. "It's hurt we can't just leave it there, are you going to help me or not?"

He clears his throat as he breaks eye contact and nods, "I.. of course. Here.." He takes a firm grip of her hand and plants his feet securely to the ground. At least as securely as he can.

She makes her way down over the side of the steep hill, the softer snow slipping under her feet with each step. Once both of their arms are stretched as far as they can, she lowers herself to her knees and tries to reach for the animal. Her fingers fall just short of being able to reach its legs and drag it closer to her. She can see a gaping wound that travels along the side of the small nug that makes her cringe, it has to be in extreme pain. "Can you get me a little closer?" She calls over her shoulder towards Cullen.

"I can try," he answers without confidence. She can't blame him for that, the ground is terribly slippery.

She feels a little slack in his grip that allows her to inch forward but, it's still not far enough. Her fingers only manage to brush against a cold back paw, without enough leeway to grab on. "Almost there, just a little closer and hurry it feels like it's freezing."

Her attention is back on the nug as she tries to convince her fingers to stretch just a little further. A spray of snow from above lands in her hair. "Are you alri-" she doesn't get to finish her sentence. She finds herself caught up in a mass of freezing cold snow and limbs as Cullen's body impacts with her own. All she can do once the air that has been knocked out of her lungs returns is laugh. "Oh my, perhaps that wasn't the best plan," she gasps between giggles.

"Perhaps not," Cullen agrees. There is amusement in his eyes that overshadows any hints of annoyance.

"At least we didn't squash our charge, I think it's still alive but I might have to try healing it a little. Especially now that we have to walk around the long way." She is almost oblivious to the fact that they are still entangled on the ground, until her pinned leg protests by aching. "I am not sure how much help I will be, I am far more adept at barriers and other spirit magic than I am at healing." She begins shifting her protesting leg out from underneath his.

"Spirit magic? I thought that you were adept at ele-" he stops himself as soon as he realises what he is saying. Or maybe it is the fact that she drops her eyes down to the ground that has him stopping what he is saying.

They have been checking up on her, of course they would. For just a moment she had forgotten about all of it. She had felt _normal_ like Evelyn and not like someone constantly caught up in a web of lies and deceit. "So, you have all been checking up on me then?" She asks as she disentangles herself from Cullen and turns her attention to the injured nug.

Elemental magic was Ellie's area of study, not her own. She is going to have to lie, again, to get herself out of this one. Just the thought of more lies twists her stomach into a knot, even now she still couldn't really leave all that behind her.

"Leliana thought it best to check your story," he answers quietly. Surely that's not regret she hears in his voice?

"Well, it seems as if her information may not have been entirely correct," Evelyn responds. It is as vague a response as she can possibly think of as she holds one hand over the nugs injured body. It takes a great deal of concentration, with her hand shaking faintly under the strain but, she manages to follow the contours of the deep cut along it's side just enough to cauterize the wound.

"There, I think I have done what I can. Let's hope he makes it back to Haven," she says as her fingers start working the ties in the front of her robes to undo a few of them.

Cullen clears his throat when realisation shows in his eyes, "Umm Herald?" He asks as he quickly turns his head and looks in the opposite direction.

"The nug is freezing, I have to do something to warm it up," she explains and although she tries not to, she can't help but be amused by his response. She has never known a templar who would turn away from a mage undressing. Especially not her undressing. There is something inexplicably alluring about the way he responds, as if she has worth and is deserving of privacy. A feeling that is entirely new.

She carefully picks the injured nug up and cradles it against her chest, before doing the ties on her robes back up loosely around it. "You can look now," she says quietly once the last tie is in place. "We should probably make a move, it will be almost morning by the time we make it back."

"Just remember whose idea this was," he grumbles as he stands.

"I will be sure to note that if we are late for the meeting," she responds lightly as she accepts the offer of his hand and rises to her feet.

She feels lighter, less burdened then she has in a long time as they make the trip around the base of the hill and back to Haven. Other than the one moment over which magic she uses, she doesn't need to lie again this night. As they walk they exchange stories about life in the circles. She stays with stories of events she knows Ellie had been present to witness, but actual stories of things that happened. Carefully constructed so that her words aren’t lies but instead the truth. That is also a new experience. Avoiding lies rather than constructing new ones.

Although he has an almost constant air of seriousness about him, she learns of stories from Cullen's younger days that were full of the mischief one would expect from a young man. She sees the light in his eyes when he speaks of those days, and sees it vanish again at times when his thoughts seem to stray. She wonders what it is in his memories that causes his eyes to dim but she doesn't pry.

First light is peering over the horizon by the time they reach the Chantry. By now Evelyn is freezing but her little charge, snug and warm under her robes has been squirming for a while. At least that is a good sign.

She realises they must both look a sight with damp hair and clothing when, Cassandra peers at them both. "Do I even want to know?" She asks.

Cullen appears a little embarrassed but Evelyn isn't concerned. What did it matter if she went to the effort of saving a small animal? That it had been saved at all is enough. "You can blame me," she answers. "It was my idea. I couldn't leave a small animal to suffer, not even if it is just a nug. It is worth saving"

"A nug?" Cassandra asks bewildered. "You look as if you have been out all night, just for a nug?!"

"Did someone say nug?" Leliana asks from behind. The enthusiasm in her voice is unmistakable.

"I saved one, at least I hope he will be okay." Evelyn responds as she turns to look at the spymaster.

"Ohh. You have to let me see it," she practically gushes.

Evelyn starts to undo the ties on her robes again, to which Cullen promptly turns away. Leliana on the other hand doesn’t seem bothered at all, she is too enthusiastic about getting sight of the nug. Evelyn really isn't worried because she knows her breast band covers the important parts anyway and she is used to a lack of privacy. She carefully extracts the nug and holds the squirming ball of fuzz out to Leliana.

"Ohh just look at him. I'll take him over healer right away." Leliana gushes some more as she cradles the nug in her arms and literally starts _cooing_ at it. Just when Evelyn thought she had it bad when it came to animals, Leliana just proved that she could be a whole lot worse.

As she re-fastens the ties on her robes, she can't hide the yawn threatening her.

"It would appear as if we should postpone this meeting, you should rest." Cassandra says firmly although not without compassion.

"I have to admit that does sound good." Evelyn is fairly certain even the lumpy mattress won't prevent her from sleeping now. As she glances over at him, she notices that Cullen is also yawning, "Thanks for your help Cullen."

"Anytime, really. Even if it's to save a nug. That was probably worth it just to see Cassandra's expression," he responds with humor in his own. "I'll see you at the meeting."


	3. Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay in getting this chapter up!  
> Real life likes to get in to the way of writing sometimes, add to that writing more then one story at a time and you have even longer delays!  
> I get there in the end though, eventually! :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments are always very much appreciated.
> 
> If you like you can also follow me on tumblr here: http://keliandrada.tumblr.com/

She sleeps well into the afternoon and when they do finally get the war room meeting going, it drags on forever. At least it feels that way.

Surely that explains why her eyes and her mind insist on wandering to places they shouldn't tread? It is nothing more than a simple case of boredom over the arguments around the table that never seem to go _anywhere_.

As Cullen starts speaking again she looks up from the report that is laid out in front of her. At first it appears as if he is speaking directly to her as their eyes meet across the table. This is when she notices the colour of his eyes, unlike any she has seen before. She looks closer, studying them intently. They look amber, like honey fresh out of a bee hive with darker flecks scattered across the amber colouring. The flecks almost seem to move, appear and disappear like they are reacting to the tone of his voice. To his _mood_.

She realises as he looks back down to his own report that she had been _staring_ at the Commander. More to the point, for just a moment it seems as if his face changes colour as he looks down. It is such a soft and subtle a change that she brushes it off as her imagination, rather than something that really happened.

He looks over at Leliana as she interrupts his report with a quip at something he is reading out loud. Evelyn realises she has no idea what he is even reading for Leliana's comment to make any sense to her. Clearly it makes sense to Cullen as his lips curl into a smile. She notices his face softens when he smiles, it looks good on him, far better than the intense half scowl he usually wears. Her eyes fix on the scar that curls its way up to the corner of his lip and she finds herself wondering how it came to be. Not that it detracts from his looks at all, if anything, it makes him look like more the soldier that he is. It also makes him look somewhat attractive, or maybe it is the fact that his lips look soft and kiss-

_No. Just stop those thoughts right there Trevelyan._

She groans inwardly. Clearly this meeting is going on for far too long and with Cullen the only male option in the room, she is projecting her boredom into directions she most certainly has no intentions of treading.

Cullen clears his throat and is looking at her. Suddenly Evelyn realises he is waiting for her response. The only problem is, she has no idea what he just asked her. _Well, this is awkward._ "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" She mumbles, a little embarrassed at having been caught out not concentrating. If she keeps this up, they are going to think she is a complete flake.

"I asked what your decision is? Should we send troops to escort the nobles to the conclave sight or go with Josephine or Leliana's suggestions?" Cullen repeated, sounding a little frustrated at having to do so.

 _He is probably just as tired of this meeting as the rest of us._ She isn't sure why the decision is hers to make, other than the fact that the others could never seem agree on anything. "That does seem like the best approach. Besides, I think Josephine should concentrate on securing trade agreements and Leliana, Varric wants someone to look into this issue if someone writing under his name. I think your agents stand the best chance at uncovering the truth. Now are we done because, I would really like to-"

Cassandra cuts in before she can finish, "there is just one more thing."

Evelyn resists the urge to snap out her next words, instead with practiced ease she keeps her tone even, "What is it?"

"We need you to chose a team, find out what is happening in the Hinterlands between the mages and the templars." Cassandra replies, "Also Mother Giselle is at the crossroads and with the fighting it's not safe for her to travel back here unescorted."

"I've been making decisions for the Inquisition all afternoon and well into this evening and, now you also want me to choose who goes into combat?" Maker, it is almost as bad as being at home with her family expecting her to fix everything. She agreed to help the Inquisition, not run the fucking thing.

"You have the mark so your presence is required, rifts have been spotted all over. It makes sense for you to pick those who you will trust to watch your back," Leliana adds, stepping in easily to assist Cassandra.

"Alright, I'll take the same team we had for the rifts I just closed." She glances at Cassandra with an amused expression, "assuming you and Varric can stop bickering long enough to actually hit something."

She is rewarded with a grunt from Cassandra and a stifled giggle from Leliana. As she glances at Cullen she sees she is also rewarded with a smile. They really do look far better on him than the serious expression he seems to like holding on to.

"Now are we done?" She asks hopefully. Evelyn really has seen enough of the small war room for one day. She craves fresh air, even if it is cold air, and a chance to stretch her now aching legs.

"We are done, for now." Cassandra agrees. "I will see to it that Varric and Solas are ready to leave for the Hinterlands in the morning."

She let's out a sigh of relief and practically scrambles for the door.

~~~~~~~~

Outside she tilts her face up towards the sky, inviting the cold air to hit her warm cheeks. It is too early in the night for her to want to retreat to the quiet cabin. After many years in the circle and being accustomed to rooms shared with others, the cabin even feels lonely.

At the estate she would sneak her way to the kitchen and enjoy the company of the staff on duty or she would walk until she found herself at the local tavern. Much to her mother's dismay because the tavern also often included a tryst with whomever she took a fancy to that night. Sometimes in the taverns rooms, other times she would bring him back to the estate and almost always it was someone with no family name to speak of, no title, no use to the Trevelyan's save the pleasure she derived from the temporary coupling. It was never the same person twice, that would invite _feelings,_ a risk of something more personal. She doesn't do more, besides there had already been an arrangement made so it wasn't like she was looking for a future husband.

She sits herself down on a flat rock under a large tree, the colder air now starting to make its way through her robes and hitting her skin underneath. She can feel the goosebumps forming as she shivers. It would be far more enjoyable looking at the stars if it wasn't so cold and if she can ignore the sinister green glow looming in the sky. How in the maker's name is she going to close that thing?

"Daunting isn't it?" His smooth, calm voice speaks from behind her.

"More than a little," she admits. "It's not everyday that the sky turns green and everyone expects you to somehow, fix it."

Cullen sits down on the rock beside her, his eyes also looking up at the glowing green swirls above. "The Inquisition will do everything in its power to assist you."

"I know," Evelyn says softly. "What if it's not enough and I _can't_ close it?"

"Honestly, I don't know." He says with concern in his voice, the tone very closely matching her own fears. "I don't think anyone does really. It could keep expanding or it might stop growing. It could keep creating smaller rifts and allowing demons pour through or, that may stop as well. We don't even know how it came to be, let alone what its purpose is."

A soft sigh passes through her lips as she stretches her legs out in front. They are still aching after standing at the war table for hours. What is needed is a change of subject to something far less heavy than a fucking hole in the sky. "You know, we should stop meeting like this, under the veil of darkness. People may start talking," she teases flashing him a coy grin as their eyes meet. Her heart rate did not just increase while she is looking at him. _Fuck no. That needs to stop._

"I.. Maker.. You are right. I had not considered that," Cullen responds. He looks almost flustered, certainly embarrassed. She knows how to read people, it is required for playing the game. The tells people have when they are bluffing, when they are serious and when she is close to breaking them. He isn't good at covering his tells, not at all. To Evelyn they flash as bright as a lightning strike on a dark night.

"Cullen, I was joking," she says with a grin.

"Your thought does have merit though, there are a lot of loose tongues around Haven," he says carefully.

"Does it really matter? While they are focused on something that's not happ-" she pauses for a moment as his signs all fall into place at the same time. "You came out here looking for me, purposely."

"I.. No... Well not like that," he answers quickly. Too quickly. She caught him out and she knew it. "I thought I would ask if you know how our little friend is doing. Seen as how I did spend half the night walking around in the snow for it."

"Leliana says he should make a full recovery," she answers easily, having already checked on the small animal herself more than once. "How about you? Not too !any bruises from the slid I hope?"

"Nothing serious," he answers as a look of concern crosses his features, accentuated by the moonlight above. "How about you? I mean I did land on you."

Oh this is going to be far too easy. "Just one, somewhere that no one is likely to see before it heals," she responds as she watches his face closely.

"Makers breath!" His face flickers between looking mortified to embarrassed and even a little flushed. "Really?"

Evelyn holds back the laughter that is bubbling under the surface, staying as serious as she can possibly manage. "Ah huh. Normally people wait until they have at least gone on a date before pressing their knees into that particular location. No permanent damage though."

"You can't be-" he pauses for a moment, realisation setting in. Or so he thinks. "You're not serious."

Oh she is so going to the void for this but it is far too easy to _provoke_ him. After hours spent walking in the cold with him the night before and again being distracted by him in the meeting, Evelyn is more than a little wound up. It doesn't help that she hasn't had any real action in longer than she would care to admit.

She leans in closer to him, close enough that she can feel the warmth from his face against her cheek as she drops her voice low, "Oh, on that I was very serious. It seems we skipped the first step, and went straight into step two. Care to rectify that Commander?"

She watches him closely, every reaction, every response, even those he isn't aware of. She watches as he swallows. She sees the darkening of his eyes and the very subtle tilt of his head. All the signs that he is tempted, very tempted. Perhaps the buttoned-up Commander may have a more raunchy, darker side to him after all. Then, he shifts sliding away from her as he stands. Evelyn bites back a sigh; or perhaps he doesn't after all.

"I... Umm." He clears his throat as he adjusts the feathery jacket he is wearing, "I don't think that would be appropriate. I should go."

  
She watches him again just for a moment before she bursts into laughter, "Oh, you should see your face. Cullen, I wasn’t serious about that last part."  
  
"That implies you were serious about the first part," he responds, the colour rising to his cheeks.  
  
Evelyn flashes him a wicked grin as she stands and saunters over to him. She brushes her shoulder against Cullen’s as she leans in to whisper near his ear, "You will never know, now." Without even giving him a chance to respond at all, she continues walking in the direction of her cabin. She is sure she can feel his eyes on her but she forces herself to keep walking.  
  
_Don’t look back, just don’t look back._  
  
Somehow, she manages to keep walking until she knows she is out of sight before she lets out a sigh. At first, she intended it to be a joke, but then she wanted him to kiss her. She shouldn’t, she knows she shouldn’t, but she wanted it. Just for a bit of fun right? Maybe even just for a bit of warmth against the cold, because she doesn’t do more and it would be dangerous for her to even _consider_ more, given the lie she is now living that is her life.


End file.
